I feel like I’ve seen several black comedians do this stand-up routine –
Black comic (probably Eddie Murphy): “Man, white people [in horror movies] are crazy. They move into these haunted mansions…and stay there! Black people wouldn’t do that. We’d be like, ‘I love this house.’ {as a ghost} ‘Boo!’ {as himself again} ‘Too bad we can’t stay.’”
And yes, I watch these movies and think the same thing. I’m yelling at the screen, “It’s haunted, cracker! Get the fuck out!!!”
But that’s a movie.
I just moved into a new apartment, and Jesus Christ it’s a lot of work. Between finding a new place, arguing with the roommate who’s staying about what he wants to keep versus what you can take (because, like an idiot, you split the cost of everything when you first moved in), finding people to take over your portion of the lease, arguing with the old landlord about her giving you deposit money back and your not giving proper notice in the specific forms that the crazy bitch needed (but has never before brought up), arguing with the new landlord about what that crazy bitch will and won’t fix for you, selling stuff on craigslist that you no longer want or need, calling your friends to see who will help you move stuff, getting the U-Haul to move the big stuff, loading that big stuff into the U-Haul, moving the big stuff up the inevitable flights of stairs to your new apartment (and finding out that half of it doesn’t fit through the door for whatever reason), buying new furniture, putting up pictures, organizing everything, throwing a “welcome to our new place” party, cleaning up after people have trashed your new apartment…
After all of that, yeah, if the spirit of a dead magician shows up in my living room, you’re damn straight I’m not gonna just leave. It’d be like –
Dead magician ghost: “Boo!”
Josh: “No, ass-hole! You either get out of here right now or you start pitching in for rent.”
