When I was in high school, I always tried to get into advanced classes, but I’d fail the placement tests; so, my mom decided to write a note to get me in, like –
Mom: “Dear Redlands High School, although my son’s tests results indicate that he is retarded, I would like him to take honor classes so he can get into a good college.”
– and the people reading it were like –
Reader: “Is this woman serious?” {then} “It’s public school. Of course we’ll let him in!”
This has spoiled me for the rest of my life. I mean, imagine if that worked in other venues.
Bouncer: “Sorry, bro. You’re not allowed in this hip club.”
Josh: {handing over a piece of paper} “Uh, I have a note. And it’s signed by my mommy.”
Bouncer: “Oh, I’m so sorry. V.I.P.’s to your left.”
Go up to some hot girl –
Josh: “You want to have sex with me?”
Hot girl: “No.”
Josh: {holding it up} “Note!”
Hot girl: {removing her pants} “Damnit!”
Go in for a job interview –
NASA man: “I’m sorry, sir, but you have zero qualifications to be an astronaut.”
Josh: {holds up a note}
NASA man: {reviews the note, then} “Welcome aboard, Captain Lehrman.”
