As a kid, I had total ADD…which stands for “attention…something something. Hey, is that a poodle? I’m hungry. Let’s go swimming! Why do I hate people with mullets?”
My ADD made it difficult to complete book reports on time; so, I’d usually end up standing in front of the class, trying to give a report based on the short summary and quotes of praise on the book’s back cover. It’d be like –
Teacher: “So Josh, tell us about the book.”
Josh: “Um…” {checks the back cover, then} “…it was riveting.”
{Long, awkward silence.}
Teacher: “How so?”
Josh: “Um…” {checks the back cover, then} “When is recess?”
Sometimes I tried to pull off the line –
Josh: “You’ll have to read the rest to find out what happens.”
Teacher: “That’s all right. Tell us, Josh. What happens?”
Josh: “Oh, I don’t want to spoil it.”
Teacher: “No, go ahead. What happens to the character?”
Josh: “Um…” {checks the back cover, then} “…riveting stuff?”
A low point came when I decided to give my report as the short summary on the back cover and couldn’t read one of the words. It was like –
Josh: “In this installment of Goosebumps…” {hard “k” sound} “Kuh- … kuh- … kuh- …”
{Josh looks up for help. The teacher walks over.}
Teacher: “Chills…”
Josh: “Chills…”
